And here I thought in my 30s I would've learned how to deal with my emotions. And then I end up having days that start out fine, but suddenly take this deep dip down into the abyss, where all I want is a reason to sit down and cry. Granted, mostly this is related to PMS, or rather DMS (as in during), since my moodiness usually occurs at the same time as my period, you know, where you want everyone else to suffer just as much as you do, make them bleed, too, if only you could. And then sit down the next minute and cry about it.
But the occasional bad day creeps in at other times as well, where everything just seems to be too much, eats away all my energy, and I just want to cry it all out. Those days I end up watching some chick flick with a sad story, or read an emotional book, and even if it's not terribly well written I will cry anyway, as I can suddenly empathise with the characters, where otherwise I'd be annoyed by the mediocre depictions. Funnily enough, many books I can only read in that particular mood, under normal circumstances chances are the book would go flying.
So let's say this roller coaster is hormonal, which I sort of understand. What happens then on these other days, which are apparently unrelated to the cycle? Why do I still have those, when I was supposed to be over these mood swings with my teenage years?
Well, whatever the reason may be, what I do know for sure is that I am not the only one. I know some other women who have the occasional cry-in. Some even do the bitch attack without prior warning, and without PMS. I only do that when someone tries to talk to me in the morning, and expects an answer.
So yes, even in my 30s I am still on the roller coaster. And I suspect that, despite what society tells you about growing up and acting like an adult, I will continue to be like this until I'm an old lady. You know, one of those grumpy old women that are allowed to say anything, preferably some nice backhanded comment like Maggie Smith's character in Downton Abbey. Now THAT's something to aspire to! But I really could do without these down-and-out days with the sad hormones and go right on to the bitch-slapping. So much more fun!
I just wonder, is there a reason that they never told us that we won't get rid of these emotional ups and downs? Had they told us as kids, would we not have had enough respect for adults, perhaps, since they are just as irrational as a teenager, even if they are better at pretending they are not? Come to think of it, are we as adults really better at pretending? Or just forced to at least try and pretend? If so, I guess I am just not really good at being an adult. And I'm not sure if that is actually a bad thing...
Well, whatever the reason may be, what I do know for sure is that I am not the only one. I know some other women who have the occasional cry-in. Some even do the bitch attack without prior warning, and without PMS. I only do that when someone tries to talk to me in the morning, and expects an answer.
So yes, even in my 30s I am still on the roller coaster. And I suspect that, despite what society tells you about growing up and acting like an adult, I will continue to be like this until I'm an old lady. You know, one of those grumpy old women that are allowed to say anything, preferably some nice backhanded comment like Maggie Smith's character in Downton Abbey. Now THAT's something to aspire to! But I really could do without these down-and-out days with the sad hormones and go right on to the bitch-slapping. So much more fun!
I just wonder, is there a reason that they never told us that we won't get rid of these emotional ups and downs? Had they told us as kids, would we not have had enough respect for adults, perhaps, since they are just as irrational as a teenager, even if they are better at pretending they are not? Come to think of it, are we as adults really better at pretending? Or just forced to at least try and pretend? If so, I guess I am just not really good at being an adult. And I'm not sure if that is actually a bad thing...
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