"Comes the Dawn..."

"After a while you learn the subtle difference
between holding a hand and chaining a soul.
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning,
and company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to understand that kisses aren't contracts,
and presents aren't promises.
And you begin to accept your defeats, 
with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of a woman,
not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build your roads on today,
for tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans 
and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.
And you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So you plant your own garden,
and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure,
and that you really are strong,
and that you really do have worth.
And you learn and you learn,
with every goodbye you learn."

This poem has been my travel companion for many years now. When I first came across it I was travelling through New Zealand, and found it in the guestbook of the hostel in Kaikoura where I was staying. I did not know who wrote it, the book didn't say. It doesn't matter anyway, whoever wrote it, she spoke to me.

But after years of living in different places, doing different jobs, trying out different things, travelling, meeting people, making friends, and leaving again, the poem has not lost any of its meaning, for me.

Isn't it strange how these things go? You spend time in a place, build your own little world, populate it with people around you, and make friends. Some friends you think you will keep forever, even over huge distances, and some you think are just there for the time being, until you drift apart. But somehow I keep on being surprised on how things turn out, how people I thought were not really that much of a friend have grown close to me and been around for decades, while others I thought were really close vanished soon after. I have given up on expecting anything, after all, a few thousand, or even just hundred, kilometers can make a huge difference. Some friendships survive, others don't. There's no telling which is going what way. 

So, I have just turned another corner in life, have met wonderful people, have missed other wonderful people I had met before, and am now back with some of them that have grown very close to me. I have had new experiences, and learned a lot, from all the people and situations I have come across. I have no idea where it will all go from here, what awaits at the next step, and who I will meet along the way. And I am trying to just let it flow where it may take me, and see who will float beside me. I know that I will learn with every step, I might even one day have an idea of where I want to end up. I will meet new people, miss others who I have met before, and meet some of them again. Some will stay around, some will not. I only hope the things that brought us together will keep us together, over distance and time, and all the changes in life that lie ahead of us.