There is this man I know. Today he told his ex he would go home and kill himself. His company sent the police after him to check. I am waiting by the phone, but no news so far...
He is a really nice bloke. Yes, you can feel he was in a dark place, but he seemed to be getting better. It makes me so incredibly sad to think that he feels so desperate, that he sees no other way out other than this. I do hope that this was just a stupidly desperate attempt to blackmail his ex into reacting, maybe in a weird way even the delusion that this would bring her back. And I do hope that the fact that now his entire management knows about this will shock him back to reality.
I understand what it is like being in a dark place where you see no way out. Not quite a year ago I was so hopeless that I saw no way out as well. I couldn't fight anymore, I couldn't bring up any energy, for anything, everything just continued on autopilot, and tiny things would make me fall. But I know, even if I didn't believe it at that time, that things change. They always have, and they always will. I know that, and no matter what has happened in my life I have always known that. Things change. Things happen. Things move on. Things will get better. They have for me, my life has turned around 180 degrees and I am in the best place I have been in years these days. And the dark times remain as a lesson, they have taught me so much.
Sitting here, now, waiting for news, I so hope I could tell him this. Things will change. Things will get better. They always do, no matter how unlikely it seems that they ever will. I know I am not the only one around here who wants to cry with him over the pain that he is feeling. And slap him for being so stupid to take this path. And then give him a hug. If only he could hear me. If only he knew that he is not alone. And never has been.
